I love seasons, even though in California there is either hot or cold, but none the less I love them. I had coffee with a friend I have had since the 6th grade and on my drive home one of the topics we discussed stuck with me, seasons of relationships.
I will say that I am not a fan of these seasons, mainly because I do not like change one, but also because when I let you in and trust you that is a sealed deal for me! Her and I have had a lot of change in relationships over the years, and really when it is all stripped down to the core of it, they are not of our own doing. It is not because that we are perfect, but for reasons only the Lord knows, those people have been stripped away. There was a concept that a mentor in my life used to tell me all the time and I still struggle with it today as I did then... (I wonder if I will ever really master it) she used to tell me to hold others with an open hand. I remember looking at her and saying "But that gives people the right to hurt you and walk in and out of your life!" And to that she replied "Yes, but they are not yours to hold onto." There is so much truth in that concept, but I still do not like it because when I am truly vested in a person, that is it I am 100% in! As we discussed this tonight I really felt like the Lord impressed upon my heart to look at it with fresh eyes, to see it from a different perspective. There are going to be people that He allows to come in our lives and will be a constant, the Bible talks about those kind of friends or if you want to speak in modern terms it is the "Ride or Die" friends!! But there will be those relationships that will come and go, and there may be no explanation as to why they came and left, but to be okay with whatever the outcome may be. We learn from each relationship and it helps to make us to be who we are, but I will say this in my experience in walking with the Lord, the relationships that flourish and last are the ones that build us up, that push us to be better, and mainly the ones that spur us on to be more like Jesus..."Iron sharpening iron."
I have been sitting in so much hurt and bitterness for so long because of hurt and pain, then my friend said something tonight that made so much sense, she said what has happened to you the Lord allowed, you may not know now but whatever it is will make you more like Him! BAM, hit in the face...in a good way! As I drove home I realized I do not ever want to be complacent and I surely do not want anything than the Lord's best even in friendships, so why am I so focused on the past ones that have left, well my answer to that is because I am human and they once mattered a great deal to me, but if I truly do trust the Lord and His intentions for my life then I need to walk that out. I need to let go and let God do what He wants to do, in the way that He wants to do it! This is no easy task for this sensitive girl who wears her heart on her sleeve...but I am who God made me to be and I have a lot of love in my heart to give to those the Lord has for me and I want those!
So my perspective has changed, I am thankful for all the ones that have come and gone for teaching me how to rely on the Lord more when I have felt alone, how to love deeper and with passion, to work hard for the relationships that mean so much to me and to learn how to walk away when the season is through.
So Lord here I am saying, use me, send me and bring me anything or anyone that you see as best! You are the Author of my story and I am letting you take over and do what you want!! I am ready for a new season...bring it!
