Did you ever have a diary when you were younger and then years later find it and re-read all that you had written to see if anything had come true or how different your life was? I for sure did! I did not marry any of the guys I had crushes on which is probably a huge blessing nor did I attain that mansion that the game MASH said that I would have...haha :) My childhood diary was a fun thing to find but did not really serve any purpose to me except a good chuckle of memories from when I was younger. Honestly I could not tell you where that thing is now, nor do I really care because it does not have any substantial information to hold onto.
When I was in 7th grade I was in a junior high discipleship group at church and I was given a journal from my leader of which she encouraged us to use as a prayer journal or a diary between us and the Lord. I remember that day as if it was yesterday and I took that journal and did just that, I started writing my prayers down and it was such a good outlet for me. It was a special thing between me and Jesus, it was safe and I could just pour my little heart out knowing I would be heard. I filled up that journal and then bought another and another...it had become a thing with me and the Lord. I still to this day have those prayer journals and I will keep them so that when I pass they will be given to my child or children. My childhood diary there, is nothing really that special about what is written in there, nothing that is impacting or life changing. My prayer journals, well those are special and let me tell you why. These journals are not just prayers, they are part of my story being written down in expectation, heartache, joy, pleading and waiting. If you were to look in my journals you would see the date of which I had written that specific prayer and then perhaps another date in the margin when the Lord had answered. The date of which it was originally written is not as important as the date of which the Lord answered me!! I want to tie this altogether so just bear with me.
I was reading in the book of Judges tonight and these verses stood out to me:
"The people served the Lord as long as Joshua lived. They also served him as long as the elders lived. Those were the elders who lived longer than Joshua did. They had seen all of the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Joshua, the servant of the Lord, died. He was the son of Nun. He was 110 years old when he died. His people buried his body on his own property at Timnath Heres. It's north of Mount Gaash in the hill country of Ephraim. All of the people of Joshua's time joined the members of their families who had already died. Then those who were born after them grew up. They didn't know the Lord. They didn't know what he had done for Israel. The people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord. They served the gods that were named after Baal." Judges 2:7-11
I read that and thought how did the next generation not know Him, or better yet how did they forget ALL the miracles that their fathers and grandfathers had seen? The splitting of the Red Sea, Jericho's walls falling, battles won, ect...how? Then it came to me...the generation of fathers had stopped retelling the stories, the miracles and remembering what the Lord had done for them to their kids. They did not have the Bible in text, they only had their stories to be retold from generation to generation to be a reminder of who God is and was. This made me so sad for this godless generation, because what came after was God's dealing with them and it was really hard on the nation of Israel.
So it got me thinking...if we as Christians do not tell our story and share the miracles and answers to prayers in our own lives with a lost and hopeless world how will they ever know Him? To bring it even closer, if we as parents do not share with our kids who God is, there is a world waiting to tell them all that He is not. There is a reason the Lord always told the Israelites to build an altar in places of victory, it was so that when they would pass by they would remember what God had done for them. It is the same with my prayer journal, those dates written in the margin are so that when I look back I see the faithfulness of God and what He has done in my life. Our story is not just for us, it is to be used to tell of the greatness of who God is. Are all the parts pretty? I would venture to say no and they are probably messy and sometimes painful...but God takes it all and uses it to reach those around us for His glory...yes even the most painful parts.
This blog has come full circle from the first entry I made 5 years ago...my God has been faithful to me once again and has answered the deepest cry of my heart. My arms are no longer empty, I am a mommy to am amazing baby boy! He also answered a dream of mine and that was to experience pregnancy, a time I will never forget. I have no idea what is in store, I know that I have dreams still that I pray about and wait for His leading...but in the meantime I will look back at all my altars of victory and keep telling my story because there are women out there, my child(ren) and one day their children who need to know who God is. He is a God who brings it all full circle, but in the meantime of waiting praise Him anyway there is a world watching you.
