This past few months I really feel that the Lord has been teaching me how to take a step back and put certain things in perspective, especially when it comes to peoples opinions of me, however I have in no way mastered this at all. But really why is what people think so important? I mean if you think about it they are human and opinions change of people all the time, yet it is something that most people struggle with whether they acknowledge it out loud or not. I have really been stretched and am learning to lay people at the Lord's feet and to let Him deal with them and divide the truth as it says in Scripture. I also have had to allow Him to be my defense and let my character speak for itself, as He is my defender and my shield. I will also say that I know that I am not perfect and have or will offend someone in life, and I also always want to be in a place to humble myself and take responsibility for my actions if need be. There is such freedom in restoration of relationships and when ownership is taken on both sides...that is when relationships are strengthened and can only grow in a positive way!
I have been reading this book called "The Bait of Satan" and it is literally kicking my booty. I have been an emotional wreck but only because I know that breakthrough is gonna happen. It talks about this whole concept of being misunderstood which really leads to being offended and learning how to lay that down. Man does my flesh fight against these godly principles, it is so hard not to get or stay offended by people. Well as I have been thinking through it the reason we stay offended is because we feel entitled, which is in its entirety selfish. It is putting expectations on others and then holding them to a standard that you have set over them, which means you are destined to be disappointed and then offended by them. Being disappointed or offended is a natural human feeling but it is what you do with it that is important...if you sit in it too long it will lead to bitterness and anger which will only kill you on the inside. Trust me when I say I know this with my whole being!! I have been SO hurt, disappointed and offended by people in my life who at one time were not only important to me and close like my family, but people I looked up to and respected very much. I have sat in that place of hurt and offended-ness and it literally has killed me on the inside. I became someone I was not which was bitter, closed off, angry and very short tempered. There were times I would listen to myself and say "Michelle, who are you?" See I know deep down the girl God has created me to be and those attributes are not part of it. I am by nature very loving, caring and very outgoing...when I am hurt I am the opposite. Jesus who had EVERY right to be offended by the very people He created did not, He came and died for all, regardless of their opinions of Him, how mistreated he felt by them, how misunderstood he was by them or His best friends deserted Him in His last hours before enduring the cross, forgave them. In seeing this from Jesus' perspective it has rocked my own world because I am to imitate Jesus, so if He cannot be offended I cannot sit n offense. AGAPE love meaning unconditional love means we lay down all rights that we have or think we have, and die to self everyday and to everyone. It means that we regard others higher than ourselves and put them first. This is NOT a natural thing for our flesh to follow suit in, it is of the spiritual nature and it can only happen when we allow the Lord to have His way and we deny our own.
I know that I still have much to learn and grown in and I am willing to allow the Lord to do what He needs to do, even if it means brokenness. What I am not willing to do is be stagnant and allow the enemy to have a foothold in my relationships or my life. I want the life that is found in the things of the Lord, not death that the enemy offers. So I will continue to pray and lay down the people that I feel have misunderstood me at the Lord's feet and allow Him to deal with it, He knows my heart and my intentions and that is what truly matters.
